Today has been ok. I woke up numb. Got ready for work, and left home. As usual, my route brings back painful memories. I decided I wasn’t going to cry in public anymore. So every time I remembered something, I took a deep breath and thought “happy thoughts”. Reminded myself that I need to make the effort to be happy and bossed up. I had to go to the launch of the CEO SUMMIT at kempinski. Memories memories. I teared up, I swallowed them, took deep breaths and went into the conference room. It was an insightful event and I met some great people while I was there. After the event ended, I spoke to a new friend. She’s great! It felt good to talk to someone who had been through what I was going through. We both cried together, we laughed at funny stories about the friends we had both lost. We spoke about how best to move on and to heal. We share the same valuesand opinions on many topics of importance. You would have loved her.
When the call ended, I took her advice and let the tears out. I went to the bathroom and just cried it all out. I walked out feeling a bit more relieved. I got back to the office and got my stories done. They came out great. I spoke to Idris as well, I was supposed to call him and tell him something but I was so tired when I got home. I got home really late, I know you hated that. You’d wait up till I called to tell you I was home. I miss that. To be fair though, Idris constantly checks to know if I’m home safe. I really appreciate that. He’s been tremendous in this process.
I miss you Zeed, every day in every thing I do, I miss you. It’s day 10 and I’m at the point where I can’t really say if it’s been bad or good. Only that I’m grateful for the good moments in my day. I love you