I miss you so much it hurts. it’s been exactly a week since you took your last breath. I keep playing back in my mind what I was doing at that time and how I could have been there with you. I keep hating myself for not being there.
I spent my day in bed. I was super stoned, Basically I spent my day curled up in bed crying, reminiscing and laughing at your jokes. I didn’t get out of bed until 4:00pm. Mum booked a business meeting for 7:00pm so I got out of bed took a shower, went out to buy pineapples for Keli, came back home to get ready for the meeting. It was successful on all counts, and very productive. Aside the fact that all my makeup apparently didn’t hide my puffy eyes. however I have a new project that would make you proud. It’s going to help many orphaned children. I know you’d be proud if you were here. In the coming months you’ll see what I’m talking about.
I’m back home now. Zeed I miss you, I need you here. There’s virtually nobody I want to speak to more, or be with more than you right now. I’m sleeping in your t-shirt today. It still smells like you. You always smelled so good. I can’t really bring myself to express what I feel today, I don’t have the mental strength to aptly express what my day has really been like today. What I’m feeling, what I need…It’s day 7, and I still don’t really understand how I’m supposed to live without you. Today was just horrible.